Keep This Going

For those of you who remember and were part of this I’m definitely talking masturbation, anticipation, penetration, even consternation. Although I’m not sure of the exact date, I believe it has been almost six years since the last time we had our X (this many) days X conversations… wow, six years bros. For those of you who don’t know or weren’t part of these conversations from our sophomore into our junior years of high school a group of us held each other accountable to porn, masturbation, and lust by asking each other how many days we’d gone without masturbating and then in response someone would say X 4 days X or something like that depending on how many days it had been. The X’s come into play because of hardcore music and band names of that time… so tight.

Over the past six years masturbation, porn and lust has been an up and down struggle causing lots of pain, confusion, damage, isolation, and lack of freedom in my life. I don’t remember the exact last time I looked at porn (perhaps a year or so ago) but the last time I masturbated was early in September during a two day time period at home when I had strep-throat. (In case you’re wondering, this didn’t cure my strep throat). Lots of healing has happened for me in regards to what sex has been in my life in the last 4 months. Although I am convinced that this healing can only come from the Lord, much of it has been in conversations, vulnerability, honesty, and selfless love from a woman, a friend, a child, a daughter, a sister named Cecka who I am so in it with (this might be another conversation for anyone interested I’d love to share about it with you in a phone conversation 319.240.1818).

What I’ve been thinking about lately and am excited to share in with all of you is how much sex is a part of our lives both as fully human and fully spiritual. In 6 years sex has changed for us. Some of us have experience penetration with others in marriage or otherwise, are engaged and conversing about what it means, some of us are struggling with masturbation, or with lust. Several things that amaze me:

One: as stated earlier, sexuality is a large part of who we are and it has, does, and may continue to look very different for all of us.

Two: After starting to truly break free from lust and masturbation after a decade of being sometimes consumed by it, I’m realizing how many areas of my life sexuality is a part of and how those parts were negatively affected for so long because of how I treated it. That healing process may be a life-long one. One I want to walk with and learn from all of you through. I’ve certainly not overcome it, or beaten it (pun intended).

Three: As much as sexuality can be consuming it can be beautiful as well. I am learning that there is so much more to it that perhaps few people ever fully understand. What it is intended for us as humans and as spiritual beings: (whether with another person in penetration, or with others in a spiritual community, or alone in front of a computer screen, or the existence of sexuality between life-long bros) - pain but so much beauty.

Four: The link between the physical and spiritual world is so much more intimately conntected than I understand making intimacy in all forms that much more full.

I write and share these thoughts with you because as a group of boys I love; I’d be blessed and become more alive to learn and share in this with one another and try to break free of the mold Christian and secular circles tell us sex and sexuality is and understand its beauty, many aspects, and become more free through our faith and in understanding it as a gift, created by God, and for us. To worship with our bodies more…

So, if you are interested, let’s go through Rob Bell’s newest book “Sex God” together. Some of you have already read it or are reading it. If you’re interested, please send me your address. Alex and Tim, I’ve already sent it your way (tim to your parents house). James, David, Nick, Blake, Mike, Caleb could you please comment on this post with your address if you’re interested? (Karl, perhaps you could borrow a copy from Steve?)

Vulnerable Love,

Thomas C. Parks

More about “Sex God” here: http://www.amazon.com/Sex-God-Exploring-Connections-Spirituality/dp/0310263468

Lately, Bryan has keened me into thinking about this idea of community.  From Sigur Ros DVD’s, to photography showings, to hot chocolate and conversation.  We are all doing our part to strengthen community but is it enough?

Here are some formal definitions of the word community:

1. the people with common interests living in a particular area. 

2. a unified body of individuals

3. a social, religious, occupational, or other group sharing common characteristics or interests and perceived or perceiving itself as distinct in some respect from the larger society within which it exists

This is not necessarily what community means though.  In a broad terms, it is.  But what is community to us?  To me community is this. KeepThisGoing.com is community.  A place where we can come and share our interests, our beliefs,  and our dreams and aspirations.  Here you can feel welcome to share anything your heart desires and no one will think any different of you.   That is a sense of community.

Now,  this is not my only definition of community but this is one part of a greater whole of what community means to me.  What does community mean to you?  We need to keep this going! Everyone here should not be ashamed to share their tears, joys and just nonsense.  We start here and we can build a paved road to welcome others into our sense of community.

We said something about volunteering our time or effort to this community and our surrounding communities that everyone lives in.  Let’s stop talking and start doing! Lets get Keepthisgoing.com on the map and share with others our joys of having such a wonderful communal participation.  We need to start building this! We need to KEEP THIS GOING!

I am hoping that everyone share their thoughts on community.  Please feel free at your leisure, but this is an opportunity for us all to get to know each other a little better and hopefully build that trust in sharing our thoughts freely.